Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
time to smoke my breakfast
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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