I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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