At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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