Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
