make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize