do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
