well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
