do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
