It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
