Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
