I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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