$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
