What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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