i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
