he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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