Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
