Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
