So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
he quoted the bible to break up with me
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
