we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
