just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
