Will you blow on my dice?
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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