so explain again why im purple
no
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Sext me about skeletons
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
