He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
