So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
