wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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