He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I stole a fireplace last night.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
