It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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