forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
This baby is an asshole
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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