I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
