I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
