so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
whose parrot is this?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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