just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
