1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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