You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
