I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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