My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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