I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
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