haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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