i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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