Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
