She said her name was "party"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
