took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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