i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
