one word: firstdatebathroomanal
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
