I molested 6 butterflies tonight
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
