ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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