my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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