god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
