Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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