You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
