I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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