After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
