I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
