I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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