i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
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I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
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Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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