is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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