You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birth control should be required to get into college
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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