I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
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