I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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