i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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