idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
