I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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